Beware: This Post Is Not For The Easily Offended - Don't Say I Didn't Warn You.

I can't keep this in any longer. I'm sure there are going to be people who will not like this post. Who will be offended. Who will be uncomfortable with it. Who will want to try to answer these questions that can't be answered. Please do us both a favor - don't. Please don't try to answer. I actually don't need you to try & console me either. It's not that your support isn't appreciated but this isn't the response I'm looking for right now. This is just a vent. This is something I need to do because I know there are people out there who will understand this. What I'm really hoping this will do is reach someone who thinks they're alone. Whoever you are - you aren't alone. There are so many of us caregivers out here fighting the same fight you are. Maybe not the exact same battle, but you know what I mean...we're all wondering the same thing about our kids: WHY? Why her? What did this sweet, innocent child do to deserve all of the shit she has to go through? Why must she be forced to struggle so much? Why must so much pain be inflicted upon her? Don't give me any of bullshit answers like "she was born special for a purpose", "she was given to you because you can handle it", "she is teaching you a lesson", "God only gives you what you can handle", "you are lucky to have had her blessed to you", etc. Bullshit. Just bullshit. That's not what I'm asking here. I'm not asking why she was given to me. I'm not asking about what I can handle. I know my kid is special. She's MY kid. She was destined to be special no matter what. BOTH of my daughters are amazing human beings that I am convinced have sucked all of the awesome out of me & kept it to themselves - leaving me as a shell of a person who used to be awesome but now I'm just their bitch. Happily, of course...I'd do anything for them. Like I said, you might not like this post. I'm not sugar coating here. I want to know why my 13 year old daughter was picked to be so "special" as people like to refer to her. WHY did she need Cerebral Palsy? WHY did she need the seizure disorder? WHY couldn't it have stopped there? No NO, let's add hydrocephalus, Crohn's Disease, Ulcerative Colitis, Asthma, a G-tube, a trach, a ventilator, oxygen, a god damn ostomy bag, a wheelchair, DAFO's, nystagmus, the longest list of medications known to man, breathing treatments, physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, nurses, lab work done so frequently that it takes forever to find a vein to get blood from, over 60 hospital trips, 10 different doctors she sees on a regular basis, and NOW? We get to add glaucoma to the list! WHY? What does SHE need to learn from all of that? Why must my beautiful daughter who has to go through so damn much already have to endure more? I don't understand. Why must this be her normal? Why does she deserve to think that this is all ok? It's not ok. It's not fair. She doesn't deserve this. No kid deserves this. Just...why?